The voices of the affected people

I, Momoko Fukuoka, continue to listen to and convey to the outside world the voices of the affected people in Fukushima via Twitter. I would like to share some of my tweets about their experiences. My account name is: “the life experiences of a former Sister.” Some of my supporters have uploaded one of my video clips to YouTube with English subtitles for people overseas. Please watch it here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Y47k_hmFnk

June 8^th:  I have recently started receiving a lot of calls from disaster-affected people in Fukushima.  Calls like these: “I returned home to Kawauchi village, but there’s nobody to talk to and I’m lonely. I just wanted to hear your voice, so I called.” “I don’t feel like doing anything lately. I’m tired and I can’t force myself to move. I watch TV every day, but even though I’m watching, none of it really registers. I just sit there in a spaced-out daze all day long.” “I had to spend three months in the hospital and I just came home two days ago. I was lonely and wanted to hear your voice. I was told that one of my neighbors found me unconscious and called an ambulance. I was taken to the hospital while still unconscious. I woke up in a hospital bed and thought that I might be dying. While I was in the hospital, I thought and dreamt about the many people who helped me out in the days of the disaster. I felt so grateful and I also felt a twinge of nostalgia.  When I think back on that time, it makes me cry. Now I’m back home and by myself. I think I would have been better off if I had just died back then. However, I’m still alive. When I hear your voice, it gives me strength to go on. I’m going to keep fighting.” “Both the national government and the town government say the matter’s already been decided. Even if it has been decided, I wish we citizens could say our piece and re-vote on the matter. They don’t listen to us!”

 

June 9^th: The Emperor and the Empress are currently visiting the Fukushima disaster-affected areas. This focus on the disaster-affected areas in the news makes me think about and reflect on those who lost their lives in the tsunami in 2011. For several months, it was not possible to search for the bodies of victims in areas contaminated by radiation from the Fukushima Daichi disaster. The land was declared off-limits. One individual who set out to look for the bodies of a grandfather and his grandson once permission was granted, said: “I found the grandfather and grandson’s bodies stuck to a fence near their home. They were dried out like mummies and it was ghastly to see.” The tragedy of the nuclear reactors goes beyond something that can simply be dismissed as a regretful event of the past. History will bear witness to many more victims. Not just in the past, but from now on - and for hundreds of years on into future – the reactors will continue to harm many people. This isn’t something that will only affect the victims in the disaster-areas. The reactors will continue to pollute the whole country of Japan, and even the planet. It frightens me to see that even the human heart seems to be being subverted by the influence of the reactors, as some individuals choose to dance around the issue, defending it in the name of “civilization” and “progress”. 

 

June 10^th: I received an e-mail late the other night from a disaster-affected person from Katsurao village. “Five people have passed away so far this month. I just got back from the funeral parlor just now. Since tomorrow’s tree-planting event was cancelled, I was able to go and offer funeral incense.” Many of the disaster-affected people have been losing friends and neighbors frequently.  Often, when they are away from home it means that they are attending a wake or a funeral. They don’t have many happy or joyful occasions, but instead spend all their time doing sorrowful and difficult things. But the disaster-affected people persevere even through all this. Even the healthiest person might fall sick under such circumstances. When I called several disaster-affected people recently, most of those who answered said that they had been recently been hospitalized, undergone surgery or felt as if their last hour had come. This is the current situation of the disaster-affected people. I decided to call back a person who called me the other night, thinking that the funeral they had to go to must surely be over. “I’m currently driving. I’m on the way to a wake. I have another wake to attend tomorrow. Yesterday, today, tomorrow - there’s a wake every day. There’ve been a lot of sudden deaths recently; people dying from strokes and heart attacks and the like.”

 

June 28^th:  A person from the town of Soma said this: “My home is located on a hill. However, the tsunami still reached it. I took out all my savings and got the house repaired with the intention to keep living there. However, nobody came back to town. There are no stores and it isn’t possible to live there. Reluctantly, I chose to voluntarily relocate to Chiba Prefecture. However, as it was a voluntary relocation from Fukushima, I didn’t receive any aid or compensation money at all. On top of that, nobody was willing to buy the land where my old home is located. Finally, I had no choice but to sell the land and house to the city to be demolished. The 3,487 square foot (98 tsubo) land together with the house on it were sold for a mere 3 million yen (about $27,000 USD). This is after I took out all my life savings right after the tsunami in order to get the house repaired. It is the land and property that my ancestors have lived on for generations. It fills me with regret. Two years ago, I had my residential registration moved to Chiba and was finally able to feel like I belong among my neighbors. It’s been 6 years since the disaster. Every day of that was full of pain, sadness and loneliness.”

 

From a person from Okuma: “My son died two and a half years ago. However, due to the high levels of radiation in Okuma I can’t lay him to rest. According to the head of our neighborhood, it’s not possible to visit gravesites in the town, though it is possible to have remains placed in gravesites there. I can’t bear the thought of laying my son to rest all alone in an abandoned place overgrown with weeds, where nobody can visit. So, I place his urn next to my pillow whenever I sleep. From my pillow, I gaze at my poor son’s urn, and think about how sad it is that he died alone without anyone to look after him, and it makes me cry.”

Every year at O-bon (a holiday for remembering the dead), I visit Yochi-in temple on Mt. Koya and ask the high priest there to hold memorial services for the victims of the disaster. Last year I requested services for 66 souls. I intend to ask again this year. The affected people say to me: “I feel so relieved. They can finally rest in peace.”

 

July 2^nd: I would like to introduce a poem that was contributed by Chikara Kojima, a poet from the village of Katsurao.

 

“One year increments"-

 

They raised the maximum radiation dosage from 1 millisievert per year to 20 millisieverts and herded us into the highly-contaminated regions like cattle. That is the fate of the nuclear-disaster affected people. For them to just say “Not our problem anymore” the moment they’re able to cut off reparation payments; how is that any different from throwing the disaster-affected people out on the street, completely naked? Whether they lift the evacuation order or whether they extend it for yet another year, the future beyond that cannot be seen. The loan period on temporary emergency housing, exemption from taxes and hospital charges, even the highway toll exemption passes, everything is decided in one-year increments. The disaster-affected people are always offered a future cut into short pieces. But, can you really call a life that is cut up into limited, small increments a life at all? Can you really call a life that is broken up and shut in, a human life?  Are we really even human, then? When I looked around at our situation I certainly couldn’t find any indication to support that.”  (quoted from ［Farm Shouno］Feb. 25^th, 2016. ”Poems in Protest of Lifting the Evacuation Order”, Volume 3）

 

This is from Chikara Kojima’s 2016 New Year’s card: “Without having properly taken care of the situation, the wrongdoers – our government -  are one-sidedly trying to lift the evacuation ban and cut off the reparation money. How is a government that is trying to do this any different from the “Right to Strike” government of the Edo-Period, which allowed samurai to kill commoners without repercussions?

 

An introduction to Chikara Kojima : “Poetry Collection MY TEARS FLOW ENDLESSLY: Exiled from Home by the Nuclear Reactor”

 

Published by Nishida Books, Price: 1,400 yen + tax

 

【My dream this morning】

July 4^th: I am completely exhausted in both body and spirit. I trudge on, my expression devoid of even the slightest sign of joy. My face has lost its luster and I look miserable. After journeying for a long, long time I look up and notice that I have arrived somewhere. I seem to have entered a building of some sort. It seems a bit like a large school dormitory, but also like an office building for some sort of major company. There are many happy people going about their work, each person seemingly with a task to do. They are all practically glowing with happiness. Each person I talk to is warm and kind and treats me with the utmost sincerity. I notice that the manager is missing both of his legs, and upon closer inspection, find that in fact everyone there is either missing some part of his or her body or has a physical impairment of some sort. However, nobody pays these disabilities any mind at all and they all keep working without giving it even a second thought. As each person greets me and speaks with me, I can feel the deep weariness that had settled on my heart being lifted off bit by bit. Even though I thought I had forgotten how to laugh, even though I had been suffering from pain and sadness and had lost my smile, my deep wounds are being healed one by one. “Oh! How I wish I could stay here forever! I don’t want to leave!”, I exclaim. I can’t believe that a place like this exists in this world. Next, I see before me the Way of the Cross. “Oh, this is the path that Christ walked!”, I exclaim. However, when I look closely, I notice that a woman is up at the front of the procession. Christ is walking right behind her. Both the woman and Christ bear their crosses with kind countenances that express serenity and joy. At that moment, I woke up to the sound of my alarm clock. However, this dream stayed with me and I contemplated it in my heart. I considered it a revelation from God. “Come to me and I will give you rest!” Everyone suffers from some sort of pain. You, whose face is gaunt and pale, you who bear a heavy cross on your back, Christ is right behind you, supporting you. Our burdens may be heavy, but let’s all smile and laugh along with Christ. I needed to share my epiphany from this morning with all of you. The big office building that I arrived at and where I was healed represents the world as it should be, the original way that God intended for the Earth to be. With this dream He was telling me: “Turn the world of man into a place that is overflowing with love and healing.” I understood this the instant I woke up. Dear readers, the rest is up to you.

Voice of affected persons

〈I, Momoko Fukuoka, continue listening to and conveying to the outside world the voices of the affected people in Fukushima via Twitter. I would like to share some of my tweets about their experiences. My account name is: “the life experiences of a former Sister.” Some of my supporters have uploaded one of my video clips on YouTube with English subtitles for people overseas. Please watch this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Y47k_hmFnk〉

 

May 30, 2018 (a woman who lives alone in Namie-cho)
“Once the evacuation order had been lifted, I came back home for the first time in 7 years. The situation was way beyond what I had anticipated.There are no stores for shopping. On top of that, we have no hospitals at all. When I was walking my dog the other day, I fell flat on my face and broke my glasses, resulting in major injuries to my face, which look horrible.
Although I called around to hospitals, none of them would accept me without an appointment. So, I gave up on professional medical treatments and had to deal with it by myself.

“The only way to get treatment is to call an ambulance?” I kept asking myself . When I think of the future, I am not sure if it was the right decision to have come back….

A new public apartment has been built in my neighborhood. However, I know none of the new residents. The atmosphere has changed from that of old times here in Namie. Prior to the disaster, I used to know many friendly people. We used to know, help, and support each other. Where have they all gone? I feel so lonely, what shall I do? For my loneliness my grandchild who lives far away gave me a puppy that cries so much that I cannot rest well.”  


May 31, 2018 (a 72-year-old man who lives alone in Urajiri, Minamisoma City)
 
When the entire Urajiri flat land was swallowed by the tsunami, he lost his wife and home. Currently he lives alone at a temporary housing unit. As the leader of this small group of residents (78 people in 34 households), he has devoted himself to supporting them. That being said, this past January there were only 3 remaining households (a mother with children, a man of the same age, and himself). By June, it will just be him. 


"Since I can keep this temporary housing unit until the end of March 2019, I decided to stay here until then. There are a lot of earthquakes these days. Unlike before, I hear a rumbling noise prior to the earthquakes. If it ever hits seismic intensity 5, I will evacuate. I can drive my car to a supermarket. I am OK living alone. I am so healthy that I have never been to a hospital."
 Although his voice sounded cheerful, I worry about  his lonely life. The tsunami took away his wife and home. His family members live far away.. Just too many sad things to list. So, I am sending him a care package with some food. I also called up a friend in Kodaka ward and asked him to keep an eye on this lonely man since he needs someone to lean on.

 

Translated by: Rachel Clark

Edited by: Karen Rogers

Messages from Twitter

Momoko Fukuoka hopes to continue speaking with disaster-affected individuals as long as her health permits. She wants to convey their messages to the rest of the world, so she has been using Twitter to tweet out various thoughts and messages from disaster-affected people. Here are a few of the messages that she has shared on Twitter. Her Twitter handle is: もとシスター人生体験 (Note: her Twitter page is Japanese language only)

 

March 7^th:

 

As March 11^th nears, I am remined of a disaster-affected person in Fukushima who was unable to help search for bodies right after the disaster due to radioactive contamination. The true story I am about to share with you is a difficult one, but I want to share the experiences of the disaster-affected people with as wide an audience as possible in order to help others to understand their pain. “My grandchild drove out together with a friend to Ukedo in Namie, to drop off a relative there. After dropping off the relative, they went to the friend’s grandparents’ house. The grandparents were out at the moment, so they went to go look for them. While they were looking, the tsunami came in, swallowed them up and carried them away. I wanted to join in the search for bodies of lost family and friends, but I was unable, due to the fact that I had been exposed to radiation.  When I was finally able to join, I found the bodies of the friend and his grandfather. Their bodies were stuck to a fence and dried out like mummies. The bodies were intact. They still haven’t found my grandchild or the grandmother. It’s very sad.”  

 

March 7^th:

 

An 82-year-old man from Okuma town: “While I was trying to get away, I could hear screams for help coming from people clinging to trees. I will never forget the sound of their voices, no matter how long I live. It makes me feel so guilty. I see them in my dreams, and I have a hard time getting a good night’s sleep. There are still over 100 people from Okuma, Futaba, Tomioka and the Hamadori coastal region whose bodies were never found. That’s despite the fact that the police go out and search for bodies every month on the 11^th, which is the day of the month on which all those people died. At first, a body could be identified as soon as it was found. But, after 2 or 3 months you couldn’t really identify them. Oh, I just don’t want think about it!” 

 

March 7^th:

 

There are many people in the disaster-affected areas of Fukushima who are unable to visit family graves or even inter remains of loved ones in the family burial site due to nuclear contamination. This is a source of grief for many. So, since I am acquainted with the head priest of Yochi-in Buddhist temple in Takanoyama, Wakayama Prefecture, I asked him if he could conduct Buddhist memorial services every year on O-bon for disaster-affected people who desire such a service for their lost family members. (note: O-bon is a Japanese holiday dedicated to the remembrance of deceased family members). Last year, two families participated, with 64 different souls prayed for, going back several generations. When I called the families to check on them, they said that all they had to do was notify Yochi-in temple of the name, death date, and address of the deceased, then the costs were paid to the temple either with donated money or out of pocket. Then, Yochi-in temple prepared o-fuda charms for each soul, writing the name, posthumous Buddhist name, and date of passing of each individual on the charm. These charms were then sent to the home of each disaster-affected family. “This made me feel so much better. It’s really a weight off of my chest. I’m so thankful, I’m so thankful”, said one family member. Regardless of religion, I think that funeral rites are an important matter for families, as well as for the departed.  I’m also keeping those in Takanoyama up to date on the situation of the disaster-affected people.

 

March 5^th:

“I’m at a funeral right now”, “I went to yet another funeral today”. I hear the word “funeral” mentioned so often when I call the disaster-affected people that I sometimes find that I’m asking myself: Wait, what? Didn’t that person just say they were at a funeral yesterday? “Even the people at the funeral parlor said that there are more people dying in Fukushima right now than they’d ever seen before.”, said one person. “My friends just keep dying one after another. Even though we promised we would be there for each other to help each other out.” “He died right after they finally finished the new house.” “I don’t have any friends left anymore. I want to die too.” Please take a moment to reflect on the sadness of these people. Perhaps they have reached their physical limit after enduring these 7 long years of suffering.

 

 

March 2^nd:

 

I would like to tell you about a 67-year-old homemaker who recently returned alone to her home in Namie.

Up until now, she had been living in a leased apartment. She was sometimes given the cold shoulder because of being from Fukushima, and found herself unable to make friends. She also had no word of the situation back home and lived a lonely life while suffering from several illnesses. She is a wonderful person, and this is what she has to say: “Everything is just so inconvenient out here. It’s difficult to do anything. Wild boar roam around in my yard. It takes 40 minutes to drive to the nearest store; there’s no shopping around here. Also, anytime I go to the hospital it has to be for an overnight stay, as there are no local hospitals. It’s really cold here too. The flowers and the aloe I got have all died. Every aspect of day-to-day life is hard to accomplish out here. However, at least I’m away from all the sarcasm and bullying. I don’t hear any of that out here. I’m finally able to get a good night’s sleep. For 7 years I was unable to sleep well, but I’m finally able to sleep again without having to rely on sleeping pills. It’s like I’m a new person. Even though everything is inconvenient and difficult, I think I should be able to overcome these difficulties if I put my mind to it. I need to learn to get by eating what I have on hand. But I’m so glad that I can sleep at night.” Since she’s only 67, I think she should be able to hold in there. However, I worry about her as she gets weaker with age. It gets harder to move around in your 70’s. I think that the disaster-affected people will return to their homes now that the evacuation order has been lifted. However, without the proper infrastructure in place to facilitate the necessities of day-to-day life, isn’t this just sentencing many elderly people to live out the rest of their lives in loneliness and ill-health, having to live in areas with no people or access to health care? It just seems so irresponsible for the government to wash their hands of this affair by sending these people back to their homes and then calling it good.

 

March 1^st:  

 

A housewife in Okuma: “There is nothing in Okuma. During the war, planes would take off from there. After the war, they said that the people of the Kanto region (where Tokyo is located) wanted an electric company, so 50 years ago they built a nuclear reactor here despite the protests of the local people of Futaba county. In the 7 years since the explosion at the reactor, those of us forced to evacuate our homes have had to move constantly from place to place. Some of us have had to move 7 or 8 times. We’re still unable to settle down and we’re mentally and physically exhausted. I’ve recently been afflicted by an illness of unknown cause that has left me exhausted all the time. My friends keep dying one after another. I too have lost the will to live and found myself thinking “I wish I could just die!”. People around here have been saying “I just don’t want to go on living.” For these 7 long years, we’ve had to try to hide the fact we were from Fukushima in order to avoid cold looks and bitter comments, and we’re tired of it. TEPCO used our land, then because of that we had to live in constant fear because of the nuclear explosions. So, why, on top of that, should people then treat us coldly once they hear that we are from Fukushima? Why do we have to be separated from family and friends?  I’ve been sick and depressed lately. It made me very happy to get a phone call. It’s been such a long time.”